I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
