overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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