Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
