smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This girl is more easily done than said...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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