Sorry, I don't speak sober.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
