Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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