Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
