i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
