I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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