??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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