We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
