i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
