He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
