What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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