my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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