I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
