she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
