I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
