wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
