Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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