I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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