I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
