mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
