I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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