I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So vagazzling was a success
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
