I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
