Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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