I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
