I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize