Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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