Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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