She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
