meet me or not, i'm out of control
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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