I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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