My brain says no but my pants say off.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
