where am i from again
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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