so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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