I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize