I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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