Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
