Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
