guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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