I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Someone shit on the floor
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
