therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
