remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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