if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
