i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
