I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
