Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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