I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
