I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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