don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You made out with two different species that night
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
