Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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