I am puke
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
