dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
