Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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