Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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