Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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