Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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