she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
